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Significant Others & Writing

January 16, 2012

At one point, I saw someone say on a blog or on Twitter (I can’t quite remember now) how one’s significant other couldn’t possibly edit their work. There weren’t many details, and I tend to hesitate asking for details about that sort of thing, and so it’s had me wondering.


Is it because of the type of fiction? Is there a level of hidden shame in sharing erotic works with one’s significant other? Or is it that the significant other isn’t capable or knowledgeable enough to do even the most basic editing? Instead of editing, why not simply ask them to just read it over and give their general input on pacing, characterization, and voice? Those almost anyone can give an opinion on.

I suppose I’m just spoiled absolutely rotten. I lucked into having a significant other who not only reads everything I write, but he’s intelligent and can do the first editing pass for me. He also helps me with the outlining stage because, if he didn’t, I’d write every little thing that came into my head. XD He says, ‘Honey, no, you don’t need to show Character A showering as it doesn’t cause any progression in characterization or plot’. I need that.

I don’t know what I would do without him, and so when others say that their significant others don’t support them completely, I’m left baffled. I’ve also seen some authors share the snide comments their family or significant others make about their books, and again, I’m left blinking. Why would someone who loves you say anything disparaging about the work you pour your creative soul into… without even reading it first?

Never be ashamed of what you write. Never let anyone belittle what you achieve creatively. They love you, and thus, they should support you, regardless of the topic you choose to write about.

Again, perhaps I’m just spoiled. The two most important people in my writing career support and love me. They’re honest, open, and give me feedback when needed. I wish that for everyone. 🙂 But, yes, thus brings a rambling conclusion to my, ‘Your significant other won’t even read/edit/beta your shit?’ XD

4 Comments leave one →
  1. January 16, 2012 10:59 am

    Lol. My sweetie is completely supportive, but he has no interest in reading most of what I write. My *mom* is the one who made me promise to put romances & erotica under a pen name.

  2. January 16, 2012 12:31 pm

    I love my husband but he is very much a left-brained thinker. He doesn’t read. At all. I suspect he doesn’t read well and I blame his early schooling. So he doesn’t read my stuff.

    On the other hand, he’s proud of me for writing it and supports me in the writing and marketing.

    Mom, however, is one of my biggest fans, even if she isn’t so much for the boy-on-boy. I write the occasional straight romance now and then just for her.

  3. Carole-Ann permalink
    January 16, 2012 3:05 pm

    So happy you all have supportive family!! So *big hugs* to them all.

    Me? Not a chance! Neither my parents (now dead), nor my children (between 36 and 41 years old) even approved of what I read, yet alone write!! Fantasy/PNR/historical romance were complete no-no’s in their scheme of things, so (as you may have guessed) I read M/M totally in the closet!!

    I really and truly don’t mind at all – they are/were the ones missing out on some superb story-telling!!


  4. January 18, 2012 4:53 pm

    April — *chuckles* I hear that a lot, and I just can’t imagine. Everything my husband-thing writes, I read and enjoy, and everything I write, he reads and critiques (I don’t say ‘enjoy’ because M/M doesn’t turn his crank quite like it does mine). Mum, though, won’t touch anything of mine that isn’t M/F. She’s still waiting on that M/F title I promised her two years ago (it’s coming, though! I swear!).

    Angelia — Sounds like my father. XD He doesn’t read anything for entertainment. Come to think of it, neither does my brother. I’m lucky I married a man who LOVES reading and writing as I do. But, I think the support is very, very important. I see a lot of my fellow writers comment about how their SOs don’t support their ‘dirty’ books.

    Carole-Ann — I have no children, and Mum and Dad don’t read my GLBT stuff. Hell, Dad won’t touch ANYTHING I write, though Mum is looking forward to my first M/F title (which I’m hoping to deliver into her hands this fall).

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