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Let’s Get Personal: Polyamory

April 22, 2015

A happy topic! 😀

Polyamory. This is a lifestyle choice, IMO, and one that can be destructive or fulfilling. While the husband-thing and I have had an open marriage since… mmm… I’d say 2000, the initial years were horrific. A lot of fighting, of misunderstandings, and of cheating. And yes, even in an open relationship, cheating can and does happen. It took us quite a number of years to move beyond those first terrible experiences.

The husband-thing has had more relationships post-marriage than I have. And I don’t mind the male relationships and the casual sex, but I will admit, when things start to get serious with a female for him, trouble brews. I find it difficult to trust other women to respect my boundaries, and the husband-thing has been selfish several times in the past that have left their scars. I think it it would take a hell of a woman for me to truth them 100% not to fuck with things and to respect my boundaries. But, the husband-thing has chosen casual-only relationships since the last dating/relationship stuff blew up in his face (and disrupted our household).

I am bisexual, and when I seek secondary relationships, 99% of the time, it’s with a woman. I haven’t had a long-term relationship with another woman in a long time, but I’m okay with that.

I do have my boi. Kris. Who is my co-author, my partner, my best friend, my medical advocate, and my cerebral lover. 😀 We have a physically asexual relationship, but we do ‘have sex’ with one another by proxy through our characters. Kris is genderqueer/trans*, and I don’t think of her in female terms except in pronouns. She’s a boy in my head, and I think of her that way. I call her my boi. We talk about her cock. We enjoy an active sex life via the writing. We’re quite happy, and I love the relationship. I love how it’s unusual, but it works so very well for us. I love her, and she loves me. She lives with me. We have pets together. We’re an old married couple. December will mark nine years together, and I’m so glad I’ve managed to do enough right that she sticks around despite all my medical bullshit.

I’m so lucky, and I’m no longer shy about my relationships. When we go to doctors and we’re asked, we try to explain to the best of our ability. People can accept it or not, it makes no impact on the truth of our arrangement.

So, yeah. I’m in a V-triad with the husband-thing and my boi!

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